Taboo

As I was about to write those lines, part of me was all “FTW! You’re not gonna tell something like this!

NO WAY

! What about your fine reputation? What about the people who think you are some kinf of superhero? What about me?” but my other part was all like “but it’s funny… Come on…”.

I won’t continue this strange dialogue as you already know how it ends up. The victory of funny-me over shame-me was partly due to great amount of alcohol and by the fact I may be eaten alive by a catcher of “lucha libre”, and then, it won’t matter, would it? (“Lucha Libre” is a sort of American catch, but here, everybody is masked. So, imagine DareDevil and Spiderman fighting in a ring. I’m hoping going to see that soon).

But I digress. Let’s back to the shameful topic.

Last week was pretty tough for me (well for my stomach I would say) and as I was religiously taking my pills against a classic tourista, I had some… side effects. But I didn’t turn green, that would have been just too awesome. No, I had something you can’t really come up with in a conversation with strangers. The thing is, I’m surrounded by them!

-“Greetings, dear foreigner from Europe –To be said with the English aristocratic accent, otherwise it ain’t funny –. What can I do you for? –They aren’t so good in English, you know-

-“Well I’m having a huge hemorrhoid crisis up my ass, would you be kind enough to check it out to see if it’s not only the ISS stuck inside?”

So, from this point, it wasn’t so funny (for me at least). Now imagine I could barely walk, or sit and every “alone time”, I was almost crying. Here comes the funny, no?

Anyway, my roommate is a doctor, but even with the medications he prescribed to me, it was getting worst and worst: I had to go to the hospital…

At this point, it was hurting enough that I was imagining breaking some kind of record. My future doctor would call up all the noobs to show my ass off and I would end up on a table, surrounded by Mexicans laughing diabolically at the damage of their chili foods.

Let’s put of the chronometer here:

T0: I entered in the Hospital.

T0+1min: I had a little ticket to wait.

T0+10 min: my pants were down.

Maybe I was lucky… But I prefer to believe that seeing the white ass of an European is some kind of a reward for the best employee of the month: that explain why it was so fast, you see.

When I first seen my doc’, I almost laughed.

Remember the guy of “Machete”? It was his brother.

No kidding, straight from a western movie where he is obviously the bad Mexican guy. You know the one who won’t die with 59 bullets in his body, but you have to wait the very end, when he is hit by a train at full speed armed with razor blades and then disappeared in some kind of lava. But even then, you never know…

That one.

He basically gave me the same stuff than my roommate, just stronger (I’m relieved I didn’t go through all that for nothing, you see…).

It wasn’t so grievous at the end and I can tick “doing a full moon at a stranger” from my to do list. J